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Surreal beginnings
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 • 6:39 AM • 0 comments I find myself living in a world where everything feels surreal. It's like standing on a deserted island after a raging storm. Hmmm...
Yes, I'm am typing here whatever words and sentences that pops randomly unto my small mind (though there are certain alterations with typos and grammatical errors, other than that, everything typed within this post directly came from my brain). I'm not bragging, ok? I'm just saying that I'm being completely honest here. No lies, no pretentions and certainly, I'm not trying to impress readers with this post.
I do believe I'm a cheerful person. Optimistic, even. I don't usually give up but in these past few months... I find myself lost, forgotten and occasionally, depressed. Friends who I thought were genuine and sincere, turns out to be frauds. People who just wants to be near you so that they can bring you down. Sure, most of us have met these kind of persons. Maybe that's why trust can be pretty hard to gain. Ever met someone who can forgive and forget easily? TA-DA, Meet me. Do I consider it as a blessing or a curse? (C'mon guys, use your imaginations. Just think of situation which depicts the pros and cons of this attitude) It depends on the situation, I suppose. Though in my current state of mind, it's a curse.
Why the hell am I typing this? Beats me. Maybe because typing it down helps ease the pain a little or a form of escape, an alternate world where I bravely say my opinions and contradict others if i find it absurd (something I do not do in the real life, unfortunately). I am not a victim of physical bullying, if that's what you're thinking. Thank god, bullying is not popular at my school. The occasional cool crowd is there, of course. They just think they are too cool to stoop down to that endless topic of seemingly childish torture kids have to endure for generations. You may have noticed that the word 'physical' was typed in bold. Yes dear, I do have a reason for that. If someone were to ask me what bullying is more dangerous, physical or mental? I would say, mental. Why? Physical marks on a persons body can be healed by both medication and time while damages made to a person's dignity requires more than that. We may not be aware that a daily greeting of 'swear' words (f***, a**hole, b*tch, etc) to a friend may have left a tiny (as I said, when it is made regularly, that tiny spot would gradually grow) damage on that person's feelings. Doesn't he/she have any respect on me at all? or Can't you see there are so many people around and they must think I'm a wimp for being called like this? These questions might be going on inside that person's head. Sure, you can reasoned out that you two are close friends but still, you should know your limitations. Did you know that his dog died the day before? Did you know that she was scolded yet again before going to school? The point is, you are not aware of what problems they may be experiencing and instead of comforting him/her (like a REAL friend would do), you just added a whole set of new problems. Unfortunately for me, I have experienced this. Ever have that kind of friend who sees you as an opponent rather than a friend? Yes? No? Perhaps? These type of friends (or if you still consider that person as a friend) are difficult to understand. You seem to notice that in every embarassing scene you have, he/she is present and have some sort of connectivity why those sh*ts happened to you. Pft. It pains me to remember those times of humiliations. I mean, why would he/she waste time on you? She's richer, prettier and cooler. What do you have against her? Seriously it's like going in a battle with only a knife against tanks and bombs. To this day, I still consider it as a mystery. In a lame attempt to add humor in this situation, I would imagine I have secret powers. *wink* Kidding aside, I know the world has far too much concern to listen to 15-year-old girl ranting about her miserable life. But hey, I need an escape. badly. Don't worry, I think I'm too 'forgiving' (ugh) to be thinking of this much longer. Hmm. Whatalongpost. o.o HAHAHA. I'm probably back to my ol' cheery self again on my next post. Hurraaaaaay! :D P.S. Starting today, I do not care If this blog has visitors or not. Weird as it may seem but I am not gonna advertise this blog to my fellow colleagues or bloggers. I have my own reasons. Strangers - feel free to come in or out of this domain. Again, this not an advertisement. Just a welcoming message. :))
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SOME WORDS!  Welcome to my Cyberhome! Clay-a here. Omo, I can't personally tour you around. Meanwhile, here is Moggle (image above) to accompany you on your journey to my seemingly foolish life. Nevertheless, your presence is highly appreciated. d(>w<)b Clay's life story
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Rewind Credits  Big helped: Aulia Septiya Edited: Clay! |
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